The World Doesn't Owe You a Goddamned Thing

So today I was reading an article where a writer makes the point that his time is his own and he's not obligated in any way to spend it on the needs or demands of relative strangers. 

I think it's a pretty good point - people do seem to think that once you've made it, or once you're a "public figure", the world owns you. I really do not think that's okay. 

But that's not what I want to get into here. 

The comments for the article is long as shit, and for every person who agreed (many themselves well-known writers, actors, artists of all stripes), someone else was totally cussing the writer out for being a selfish, elitist asshole. 

Well, what the everloving fuck? 

Here's what these people are basically saying: "Because you managed by whatever means to make it in your field, you now owe it to all comers to give us the magic ticket you used. Because if you don't, you're just holding us down. Pony up, we know it exists."

That's right. These people think there is a magic ticket. They think there's a way to get "made" without pain. 

And you know, I've kind of made similar unthinking assumptions myself, though never to that degree. But now and then I'll catch myself thinking, "How did they do it? What do those people have that I don't?"  This, in relation to every possible endeavor, from finding a good girlfriend to becoming a successful artist, and even to spiritual advancement. 

But after all the shit I read today, I realized I was being just as idiotic as these moron commenters. 

The world doesn't owe me, you, or anyone else, anything. There is not one single part of life, not one single good thing worth being, doing or having, that doesn't have to be earned.

I mean, does anyone think Hugh Jackman is just naturally ripped in his superhero movies (for example)? Because he isn't. He really had to work hard to look so cut.  It didn't happen while he sat on the sofa eating Cheetos and masturbating to soft-core porn. 

How about getting a decent girlfriend (or boyfriend)? Well, hate to say it but getting laid -- to say nothing of the finer elements of a relationship -- isn't actually a given. It's not an inalienable right -- and I think you'll agree, some people shouldn't breed anyway. 

I look at many of my friends and marvel at how they seemingly effortlessly found incredible women to share their lives.  And yeah, I envy the living shit out of them (although in no way do I begrudge them).  I can't seem to do what they did. But guess what? Even though it's not exactly from lack of trying, it also kind of IS. Because all of those guys did work at it, and I'm often hard-pressed to be social, talkative, interesting/interested, and generally proving myself as a viable mate for a girl. 

These writers, even the ones many seem to feel are absolute crap (I'm looking at you, Stephanie Moyer and Christopher Paolini), must have WORKED at it. Maybe I am a far superior author to a lot of stuff that's out there -- but how many times have I actually sent out a submission, tried to get published?  Answer: Very few. So fuck you, me. 

Every author who has made it, who does take the time to do a write-up for aspirants, stresses that you gotta get in there and keep swinging until you connect.  Seems like a lot of work! I recoil and nurse the perceived insult to my talents (because I'm special and awesome and it should all just happen, and it would, too, if I could just find the right person to read my book).  

I'm self-aware enough to realize that it's not true, that I haven't done nearly enough work to earn my dreams -- but a scary number out there, it seems, are not.  They actually seem to believe that they are entitled to whatever they want, because they are special little snowflakes who should be able to make their mark on the world and people should help them out of the kindness of their hearts or out of adoration of their awesomeness. 

Bullshit. To quote Tyler Durden, you are not a special snowflake. Anyone and everyone on this planet is only as good as they get shit done. Whatever their particular shit is. If you don't have the perseverance to do whatever it takes, if you think there's a one-shot cure or magic pill or incantation to easily get anything worthwhile, you are sadly fucking mistaken. 

It is true that some very few DO luck into fame, fortune and fucking. We all make snide remarks about the no-talents in Hollywood, like Paris Hilton or the aforementioned authors. But I have to be blunt. Those people are still there, so they must have something going for them, some determination or drive that everyone who wishes they were there but isn't, lacks. And yes, sadly, this does include me, and anyone else who falters in realizing their dreams, often because it looks like too much work.

Success and happiness are not rights. Striving for them are. But this world doesn't do handouts. If you want it, it means hard work, in-ethics, doing the things that were successful. It means weeding out the things that you are doing wrong, because it is not the big, bad world's fault if you don't make it. 

I know this probably reads as super preachy, but what all of this is, is exactly what I told myself this afternoon. This is my chain of realizations, because I'd made assumptions and balked at the work I'd have to do to get where I need to go. 

So no, this is my reminder to myself: The world doesn't owe me a damned thing.