A good night with Mad Night

Friday night turned out to be pretty decent. A friend of mine is in a band, and they were performing at a really nice venue near downtown LA.  There were other performers (the place sort of had an upscale arthouse vibe), and most of them were pretty decent. The wait staff at the location were attentive, courteous and attractive. 

I have, however, resolved not to even entertain anything more than friendly, harmless banter/flirting with any girls in the service industry (when they're working). It's not smart for me to mistake professional charm with real interest -- and that's all one can ever count on it being. And I'm unwilling to put anyone in the position of having to continue to be nice to a dude giving unwelcome advances, just because they can't turn business away. 

So, I didn't ask for the hostess' number, even though she was cute enough and seemed like a decent girl, and even though she might actually have been interested.  Ditto the bargirl -- although I did leave her a pretty good tip for keeping my water glass full.  She'd certainly earned it.

I did think of striking up a conversation with the girl that sat next to me, a Vanessa Hudgens lookalike (or hell, it could actually have been Hudgens, this being LA!), but her body language said no way. I was okay with that. I have to admit, I wasn't feeling particularly conversational. 

But although I mentioned all this first, the important part of the night was, of course, watching my friend Maura perform. It was the first time I'd been able to catch a show; she and her band Mad Night were actually pretty damned good. 

She saw me before she went on and was pleasantly surprised to see me there. Maura is a lovely and sweet girl; I met her when she wanted to share my patio table at a Starbucks a couple years ago. Somehow we kind of stayed in touch; even though I haven't seen her or talked to her in at least a year, she totally recognized me, gave me several hugs and was really glad I came.  

Before you start nodding your head knowingly: she's got a guy, she's not into me that way, and while she'd be a catch for anyone, I'm not crushing on her. 

But it IS great to know her and I'm really glad I went out. I get to find out about new places in LA, see good music performed, and be in the same room as (if not actually meet, lol) interesting people.  

Unfortunately, having crunched some numbers, that low-budget evening out was all I can afford to do this weekend. 

But my plans for creating new income sources are progressing! I've got a solid solution for getting the money I need to get things started; all I need to do now is nail down exactly how much I'll need, and things will get rolling. The research is almost complete. So it looks like I'll be making these plans a reality before summer's end -- exactly as I'd originally hoped. 

Thereafter, it will take a little while, I know, for the money to start coming in. But it will come in. It's two to four years now. And I'm prepared to work for it. 

I do recognize the irony of blogging this

I recently had the shocking realization that I talk too much.  

Specifically I talk about myself too much.  

It's understandable (playing Devil's Advocate): I've got plans and dreams and I'm excited about them, and I like to talk about them. Sure.

I wanted to inspire, but I suspect what I've done instead is bore. Or worse. 

Not everyone's got live dreams; not everyone has epic plans. But I rather suspect that those who don't, wish they did or even feel guilty that they don't.  

So when someone comes along all fired up about their own awesome shit, it's gonna get a mixed reaction.  On the one hand, that is indeed awesome shit. But on the other, they don't have awesome shit.  It's sorta like how I feel when I see people in relationships. Or those fucking eHarmony commercials.

Or, maybe they do have awesome shit, but I've spent so much time talking about my awesome shit, we never get around to talking about their awesome shit.  

This is utterly unacceptable. It's rude, boorish. It's probably one reason some people don't wanna talk to me often.  It doesn't help that I'm utterly horrible at picking up hints. Because this happened recently, hanging out with a buddy of mine. He gave me several opportunities to shut up about my book already and find out what was up with him.  And I totally missed them. 

When I realized this - the day after our visit - I felt like a total ass. And then I got to thinking and realized this has been a recurring theme. 

Well, now I know, which is, as we're all aware, half the battle.  I'm kinda glad I figured it out myself, but on the other hand, it took me long enough and I kinda wish someone actually had said something.  

I know, too, that this sin isn't unique or cardinal or irredeemable. Probably almost everyone suffers from this at some point in their lifetime.

But I try to tell myself these things, that it's not so bad. I'm probably right - my social issues are likely much deeper, broader and more complex than just being a blowhard. But I still feel like an ass. And, of course, I resolve to do better. 

Then I write a 13-paragraph blog about it. 

Why Are We Still Talking About These People?

I wish I had some answers so this would be a useful blog.  But it's really more of a rant. 

Some people are attention whores. I get it, I really do. But what I don't get is why we feed their desires, why we feel compelled to give so much attention to people we've never met and who have no value in our lives. And I'm not just talking about myself, personally. As far as I can see, some of these people have no value in anyone's life. 

Paris Hilton is, of course, an excellent example.  If not for the fact that plant life can feed off her CO2 emissions, I'm pretty sure she'd be a complete waste of human and planetary resources.  Even her dog hates her, according to such pictures as have made it past my anti-Hilton filter. 

How about those Jon & Kate morons?  I've never seen the show, okay. So in all fairness, my calling them morons may be excessive.  But why should I care that they're doing stupid stunts like alleged infidelity and whatnot?  It's none of my business, for one thing.  

That could lead into a tangent on things about people, particularly celebrities, that the media forces on us but that are none of our business.  But I'll leave that alone for the moment. 

This South Carolina Governor who put his dipstick in the wrong oil tank -- that's a little tougher. The man is in a position of public responsibility, it is necessary to know if he's involved in things unbefitting of his position. But do we need to drag the women into it? Do we really need to invade the lives of his family in what must already be a difficult time?  No, we don't.  We really do not.  

I'm also sick of hearing about Sarah Palin.  This is not a political statement.  I stay the hell out of politics. No, it's because the woman is NOT a legitimate national figure anymore.  Sarah: You had your moment.  Let it go.  

Finally, I'm really tired of seeing all the Michael Jackson coverage.  I was a fan for a while, back when everyone loved him.  I idly followed some of his exploits over the past fifteen years while waiting in checkout lines and such.  It's true that the man had a huge impact on the world and popular culture. It's true he's left an enduring legacy and will probably be the next Elvis Presley in terms of merchandising (I just hope they go with the 80's Thriller-era Jackson, not the travesty of nature he became in later years).  But the media saturation is just too damned much.  It really is. I don't need minute-to-minute updates on his embalming.  I don't need to know who is getting custody of his kids.  I'm not concerned about the disposition of his estate. 

Here's the thing.  A lot of this news is stuff that's being thrown in my face at every turn. I'm not saying that, in some cases, the information shouldn't be available.  This is, after all, the Information Age. What I'm saying is, can't we have the info we want, rather than this other bullshit? And why are we more interested in peccadilloes than products?

Take the activities of celebrities as an example. I'm always interested in the activities of artists. By which I mean, I'm interested in what projects they are working on, when said projects will be available, and whether the resulting product was any good.  I like knowing that Anne Hathaway is doing Shakespeare on Broadway -- and doing a decent job.  I don't need to know that she likes getting it up the ass.  I like knowing that Robert Downey Jr. will be playing Sherlock Holmes (and that Rachel McAdams will co-star). I don't need to know about their torrid off-screen affair.*  

The thing is, none of this info would be available if there wasn't a demand. I recognize that. But it would be nice if the demands of gossipy, bored housewives (apologies to my housewife friends) weren't forced upon the rest of us.  The Yahoo Entertainment section should be about entertainment. Not about celebrity gossip. And especially when said celebrities are really only celebrities because the media makes them so.  

Honestly, I'd rather know about the real celebrities in my life: My friends and family.  But even then, I still don't need to know who likes it up the ass. 

* I made that up.  You get my point. 

The Truth is Out There

Okay, so I'm doing a little studying, and out of the blue I realized something.  

You know how all those scientists are looking out into space, checking out other galaxies and shit like that, getting all excited because they're finding planets that could support life -- but not finding any evidence of extra-terrestrial life? 

If you don't, take my word for it. There are a lot of people doing just that. 

Well, I got curious.  I wondered just how close these other galaxies are.  I Googled it, and according to Wikipedia (granted, not the best possible source, but fine for my purposes), the closest proper galaxy is over a million light-years from ours (if I'm reading the chart correctly). 

I think pretty much everyone knows that a light-year is the distance that light travels in a year. Okay.  So that means the light we are seeing from that galaxy is over a million years old.  

What was happening on Earth a million years ago? Near as I can tell, not a whole lot. Apparently the first Homo Sapiens didn't even show up until about 100,000 years ago. The walking monkeys that were around before that were just getting funky with rocks.  

Now, I'm no expert, or even an educated amateur -- I'm occasionally interested and I read science and astronomy articles when they're featured on Yahoo.  But from what I can tell, our current technology is incapable of zooming in very closely to these planets they're finding.  Certainly not enough to see what's really going on there.  So a lot of their conclusions is based on, really, educated guesswork -- and that based on the only life we do know of, that of Earth.  

Add to that the fact that Earth, in galactic terms, is kind of fucking remote. Seriously! We're like hicks!  There are places out there where solar systems are packed together like tenements in a ghetto.  Earth is Nebraska, these places are like SoCal or New York.  Or Sao Paolo. 

So... I'm just saying, what the hell are these guys doing, shaking their heads sadly and saying there can't be life out there?  They are basing these conclusions on information that's millions of years old, and using a very narrow view of what constitutes "life".  

I'm sure I'm not the first to realize this, but it did just come to me as a revelation. And yes, it is true that I already believed in extra-terrestrial life. But still, man.  I'm not even saying this proves anything. I'm just saying that unless we get more up-to-date news, we can't disprove anything, either.

Expectations Addendum and other stuff

Just wanted to say that yes, I do realize those "sitcom" expectations were unrealistic.  Especially now that my face has been smushed into that truth. But I don't think it's unusual to paint an overly rosy picture when planning the future.  You gotta picture the ideal, so there's something to strive for. Otherwise, what? No plans or expectations means a ho-hum, accidental sort of life. Not for me.  

Also I didn't mean to imply that I'm just going to dump all of my existing friends. Because that would be unbelievably stupid. No, in truth I'm simply going to acquire more friends, and given that many of my existing "cast" have moved to a different plane of existence (marriage and family), this is only sensible until I rejoin those ranks. 

In other news:

Wizard magazine has answered prayers I didn't even know I was making. The latest issue has a rundown of everything I need to get in order to start my webcomic, including hardware, software, web hosting and tips from successful creators.  Some of the recommended tablets are DIRT CHEAP (30 bucks!) which is a lot better than the two grand I was expecting to shell out.  I can get a software application for roughly $50, which should do me until I can afford to shell out a grand or so for Adobe software.  

That's really good news, because it means once my paychecks are flowing regularly and have taken the necessary hike, I can get that project back on the front burners. 

Brings me to the money scene: Things are tight, can't lie.  But this is primarily due to things still being slow at the new workplace.  Once production kicks up, that should improve. Add to that a guaranteed raise (which should already have happened, actually) when the guy I'm replacing checks out in two weeks, and I should be sitting pretty by August if not sooner.  All requisite knocking on wood applies, of course.  

I'm currently in a bit of a battle with the Evil Credit Card Company, which is being a consistent pain in the ass.  This is my first credit card and honestly I should probably never have got involved. Or at least gone with a bank credit card, because those guys (one would think) are more trustworthy.  The account I have now is a sinister web of hidden fees, unreceived statements and whispering customer service representatives.  As soon as I possibly can, I'm paying those fuckers off and terminating my account.  I don't need them anyway, I really don't.  Not anymore, at any rate.  But things are slowly getting sorted out as I continue to insist they give me the information I need to pay them (you wouldn't think this would be hard to do). Eventually I'll get through to someone. It's harder to do via email than you might think. 

I almost asked a girl out today but I sorta chickened out.  I mean, truth be told I'm not sure I want to go out with her, but on the other hand, why the hell not? Plus of course it's just as likely, if not more so, that we'll share an awkward moment while she shoots me down.

On the writing front: Not going that well. But I recognize the need for me to buckle down and start slaving away on the second draft. What little feedback I've gotten tells me what I need to work on (and that's as much from the feedback itself as the fact that there hasn't been much).  So I shall grit my teeth and get my ass to work on what every writer hates: The second draft.  

Meanwhile, and more pleasantly, I've got some ideas simmering for the rewrite of another short story (which is only slightly related to the current project), which could well be the second publishable book, as well as being the genus of another full series. So that's good.

Finally, I am a mass of twingey, misfiring muscles from my exercise last night. I ran (mostly) a mile, did about 50 reps of 15 pounds per hand (which sounds kind of weak when I write it out) and a bunch of things with the weird pulley gadget. And lots of sit-ups.  Gonna do it all again tonight once dinner settles, and it's going to continue until I've dropped 30-50 pounds of blubber. I want to be in the same shape I was when I got married -- only better, because instead of being skinny I'll be all ripped.  I figure that'll take a couple months at least. But maybe I'll end up being a Spartan for Halloween this year after all, ha ha. 

In Which Expectations Are Not Met

I think I kind of expected my life to turn into a sitcom when I moved to LA. 

Maybe because the last time I moved to LA, it kind of did. 

You know what I mean: A bunch of friends that you hang out with all the time, or who drop by regularly, silly relationship hijinks (of one kind or another), going out all the time, lots of snappy one-liners.  

That's not actually how it's been playing out.  I think with a lot of my LA friends, I've been outta sight, outta mind for so long they're still not used to me being nearby.  And I hate being the guy who's constantly calling people up and trying to hang out.  I'm actually on my own as much as -- if not more than -- I was in OC.  

I'm also getting pretty over going out on my own.  I can do it, and I have fun as much as not, but it's really not the same. In a lot of respects. 

Rather than just whinging about it though, I will of course do something about it.  I've started volunteering at a non-profit -- many of the key people there know me of old and they fucking love me, no exaggeration.  I'm gonna check out a few other things I can get involved in.  

(Obviously I've gotta arrange it so I'm not spending so much time doing other things that I'm not writing -- which is exactly the mistake I made when I lived in LA before -- but I think that's pretty doable. Besides, I'm not exactly going great guns on that front at the moment. Another thing I need to address.) 

The other factor in this: You know how you're hanging with people who've known you for years, and you kinda slip into the familiar patterns?  I'm not the guy I was four years ago.  But I do find myself being him when I'm around people who've got expectations of my behavior.  I really need to break myself of that.  And much as I love my peeps, maybe I would in fact be better off amongst new people, who have no preconceptions on how I'm "supposed to be".  

Heh. Maybe I should've moved a lot farther than I did.  But whatever. There are millions of people in LA county. Shouldn't be that hard to recast the sitcom.

Music Week day 5: FRIDAY

Sorry for the lack of formatting (like anyone cares, ha ha) but I forgot about this until kinda late...

Fun Friday 

Or Favorite Friday, or Freakin' Awesome Friday. Take your pick.  

I'm actually doing pretty much the same thing as Typhoid Ashley on this one: These are songs that make me want to dance.  Or in some cases, I just really like them, and a lot of them have endured innumerable replays.  

I've left quite a number out, simply because I don't know or can't (at this moment) remember titles or artists.  That frankly goes for all of the lists made this past week. 

Radiate (Dubious Mike)

Isn't it awesome I can cite a Dubious song for almost every category this week?  I think it's awesome.  

Counting Blue Cars (Dishwalla)

Got way too much airplay back in the late 90s but it somehow manages to evoke summertime imagery to me even now.

Desecration Smile (Red Hot Chili Peppers [RHCP])

Kids (MGMT)

This is one of my favorite songs now.  And I love the video. A lot. 

Young Folks (Peter, Bjorn and John)

Battle Without Honor or Humanity

Extreme Ways (Moby)

Kids With Guns (Gorillaz)

Spybreak (Propellerheads)

Such Great Heights (Postal Service)

19-2000 Soulchild Remix (Gorillaz)

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)

By the Way (RHCP)

Cafe Mambo Mix (Syndicate)

Funky Monks (RHCP)

ABC (Jackson 5)

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me (TISM)

You've seen the video by now, I'm sure.  What's not to love? If you haven't, check it out on YouTube. You'll laugh, I can guarantee. 

Tell Me Something Good (Rufus & Chaka Khan)

Wake Up (Arcade Fire) 

This is the song on the Where the Wild Things Are trailer, in case you didn't know.  That was the first time I'd heard it, and I'll never forget it.  This is the trailer, y'all, that made Kevin Smith cry.  

Humble Neighborhood (Pink)

One Week (Barenaked Ladies)

God Shuffled His Feet (Crash Test Dummies)

Black Betty (Ram Jam)

Around the World (ATC)

I know, right? A much shorter list.  But hell, a guy can only have so many favorites.  

If anyone wants to listen to any of the songs I've listed, a lot of them are on my playlists here. Particularly the now-misnamed "September" list.