Two days left

I never thought I would feel at all nostalgic for Orange County.  

I don't, not really. I mean, for one thing that would be somewhat premature, since I haven't left yet.  But truth is, I did suddenly realize last night that although I haven't felt like my life was all that great here -- it wasn't OC's fault.  

True, when I move I'll be more connected to "my kind of people".  In theory, at least. And I've plenty of friends there.  And I figure my chances of meeting Monica Raymund, Eliza Dushku, Morena Baccharin, Eva Mendes, et al and sweeping them off their feet are considerably better in LA county than Orange County.  

But the thing is, I have to admit I didn't make much effort to forge new bonds here.  Of the new friends I made in the past four years, I considered the best of them people from MySpace (and there's certainly some truth to that).  

Over the past week, however, I've had to say my goodbyes and it's dawned on me how many people I do know and like here; I somehow hovered on the edge of a large social scene without ever plunging into it.  It's not OC I'm going to miss, but there surely are some people.

If I'm going to be honest with myself, I have sort of been that way my whole life. My "crowd" usually only consisted of maybe three or four really close friends and everyone else was, well, everyone else.  

I think that can change now though. I am a different person now in many ways.  Not to say I'll become some kind of shallow social butterfly, but come on. It's time to have a proper social life, damn it. 

In three days' time I'm going to be starting a very new chapter in my life, and everything about me is going to change or start to change. New job, new digs. I've already got a new haircut (by employer request, ha ha), and I know I'm going to get in shape, so new body of sorts.  I can embrace my evolving personality and become the guy I'm supposed to be; I can cast off the expectations and preconceived notions of others, step out of my family's shadows (which have dogged me for years) to marked extent.  I'll live my own life -- for real and true. 

In three days. 

I can hardly wait.